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introduce that goose on the loose to doctor seuss
2003-06-26 - 12:05 PM

i'm hoping that when i turn 23 years old next month that my life will suddenly improve by leaps and bounds. 23 is a magic number. maybe i'll be told i come from a long line of magic superfolk who were waiting until i reached the magic age of maturity to reveal my magic lineage. i certainly hope so.

22 totally sucked as a year. fuck you, twenty-two.

anyway. my friend Sean and I (check out the proper grammar, yo) were driving around, wondering what to do, and when i stopped to grab a bite to eat at the local Jack in the Box, Sean spent his time feeding french fries to seagulls in the parking lot. and when it was time to go, he wouldn't stop feeding the stupid seagulls. everyone who has seen Finding Nemo knows that seagulls are stupid and greedy and with whom one should not waste time (okay, i was trying to be all proper grammar there, too, but i don't know if i was successful).

so eventually i honked the horn and tried to scare the seagulls by driving toward them, but they wouldn't move, even after i ran over a few, which just goes to show the stupidity of seagulls.

anyway. i told Sean he was a moron for feeding seagulls, and in a parking lot, no less. if you're going to feed seagulls, at least get near a body of water. so Sean thought that was a great idea, and he bought two loaves of bread and we went down to the lake, even though i wasn't really into this whole feeding seagulls idea. also, i was afraid we'd look like overgrown morons.

anyway, we starting feeding the seagulls, and it was actually kind of fun. we were surrounded by at least 40 seagulls, i swear, and they were smart enough not to get too close to us, no matter how hard we tried to lure them. i tried to feed the ones that seemed like they weren't getting any bread, but it was hard because seagulls are a bunch of bullies. at one point i threw a whole slice of bread into their midst, and they went fucking nuts. one seagull grabbed it and flew off, and the rest of them chased him, and it was pretty funny but i really think you had to be there.

anyway, when we were running out of bread, this gaggle of geese appeared out of nowhere and walked toward us up the bank of the lake. they towered over the seagulls, like royalty. or like aliens, so strange and appearing out of nowhere, they came right up to us (unlike the seagulls) and ate off Sean's hand, but not mine, mostly because i ain't gonna let no goose get his goose cooties on my hands. they had funny little tongues and long flexible necks, like giraffe, and they were possibly the coolest thing i had ever seen. that day. they were strange little bird visitors from another planet.

p.s. i was totally kidding about running over the seagulls.

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